Baby's Here. Emotions

Hey, everyone. Jason is here. March 1, 2007 9lbs 3oz. 21 in long. It was rough. My blood pressure kept dropping and he did not like the pitocin so it was a long and tireing day. I really was hoping for better but oh well. I am glad I made the decision to not have anymore. It seems like Alaina's labor was rough and now this one was worse. I think that is plenty. I am struggling though with the decision to make it permanent. That one is rough but now they say you can have it reversed although I doubt i ever will. three is plenty and God had his hands in it to so I will deal with it.

Physically Iam feeling better. But emotionally I need the prayers of everyone. I am really going through it rough right now. I don't remember it being this bad with Kylie or Alaina. Mom is coming back today to stay the week and after that who knows maybe if I need her she can come back for a couple of days or something. I hope I am better by then. Pauls mom is great. She took the kids last night because I would be here by myself this morning with them and i am not supposed to lift on them or anything and I just didn't need the stress. She came over yesterday and helped for a few hours. My niece got to skip school and stay and help for a day.

Along with a new baby we have alot of other stuff going on right now too. My dads best friend since childhood is dying of cancer and it is really rough on us to see my dad losing his friend. my uncle who has polio is not doing good and they want to put him in a rehab clininc to evaluate him and see what is wrong. He has lived a long life but none of us want to lose him. This is my dads oldest brother and along with the friend this is rough.

We are also trying to figure out how to climb out of debt. Yes I know we have a truck with a high payment but letting that go back is not an option right now. We have really excellent credit and do not want to ruin this. Paul is really discouraged with his job and we really do not want him to take on extra work right now. he works enough as it is but we cannot seem to get ahead no matter what I do to cut corners in our budget. It seems as though we cannot win. We are constantly praying for God to show us or to help us and I am constantly trying to help my husband. We have realized mistakes that we have made in our lives especially the past 2 years and now we are trying to recover. There is no sense in trying to fix them or regreting them just recover and go on but recovery seems impossible. It is rough on me right now because of a new baby and all this. And on top of everything even if my uncle happened to pass right now I could not afford to go down there to see the family. I would have to stay here. I really hate that.

Just keep praying for us and any advice or thoughts would be welcome. You can email me too and keep me uplifted I really need it right now.

Love and prayers.