I am going to try to catch up on my Husband Encouragement post. I may not get through though because my computer time is almost up.
"With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love." Eph. 4:2
Part of the difficulty you may face as you continue in this 30-day challenge to encourage your husband is that you really are struggling to find positive things to praise. Perhaps the problem is not with your husband. Have you checked your own heart?
Sometimes we get disillusioned because of our own unreasonable or unrealistic expectations (Prov. 13:12). It may not be that our mates are doing something wrong; it's simply that we expect too much in some areas. Our expectations must be met in God alone, and then we will have the right perspective to ask God for the healing and grace we need to respond to others.
How sad that we give more grace to others than to those in our own homes. Today, try to look at your husband through eyes of grace. Verbally thank your husband for what he is already doing.
Needless to say, we did not have a good weekend. I was grouchy and didnt make it easy on Paul. I need to be more appreciative and let him know that he is doing good and that I can see everything that he already does. I mean, he works hard for us and he is always trying to come up with something that will make extra money. He comes home and plays with the kids and does extra jobs. I need to verbally thank him though.
"I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me." Song of Solomon 7:10
The sexual relationship. It's one of those elements—along with money and children—that can derail a marriage through negative comments. Negativity destroys intimacy, but encouragement builds and strengthens the marriage bond.
Let's get practical here. Is your husband a "good lover"? Have you told him so? Be specific. Let him know when he pleases you. Most husbands genuinely want to please their wives, especially in this important area of marriage.
In moments of intimacy, do you find your mind wandering? This can change as you focus on something wonderful about your husband. Realize that your husband wants intimacy with you . . . his desire is toward you.
Does this area of your marriage need some work? Remember that this is a sensitive area for men. Be sure to encourage his lovemaking and masculinity in positive ways.
Suffice it to say, We are doing good in this area right now. Nough Said!
"The righteous man walks in his integrity . . ." Prov. 20:7a
Every week there are news reports about men who gave in to temptations and compromised what they said they believed. We hear countless reports about dishonest business dealings, hidden infidelity, and hypocritical leaders. It's so easy to focus on these things and ignore those who are being honest, faithful and genuine. As you continue in the "30-Day Encouragement Challenge," determine to look for ways that your husband stands against the culture.
Is your spouse a man of integrity? Is he fair in his dealings with people? Does he understand the meaning of justice? Is he honest in business? Unhypocritical in his faith? Consider all the ways a man can live in integrity, and praise your husband for one of them. As you have the opportunity—as it is appropriate—share examples of your husband's honesty and integrity with others.
Paul is a very honest person. I dont know one person that can say that he has lied to them. He is very strong in his faith. He loves to spread the Word around to all he can get to listen. He encourages me to have more faith and to try to be more of a righteous person. Thank You Honey for all your encouragement and helpfulness in my areas that are still kinda hazy. Thank you for helping me to see my way through.....and for being an example that I will be proud to have our kids follow.
And that is all I have time for. My kiddos are waking up and the sun is rising. Time to Give my day to God and start anew. Each day is a new day...a new day to start over and forgive the things of yesterday.
A prayer request though. My dear friend Kristy at Church, has found out that her uterus is enlarged about 13-14% and she has uterine fibroids. They are going to try some hormone therapy but if that dont work, they may have to take her uterus out. Please pray that God will put his healing hands upon her and will heal her or that if that not be his will, to give her the strength to make it through. She is married and has three kids...(not really wanting more but still its the thought that if they take out her uterus, then she can never have more if she wanted to. ) So please pray I know prayer works.
In His Will
Monday, April 28, 2008
I am going to try to catch up on my Husband Encouragement post. I may not get through though because my computer time is almost up.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
Day 11: Husband Encouragement Challenge!
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Eph. 5:22
Women who are constantly negative toward their husbands—especially by speaking evil of them to others—show great disrespect. Determine not to do that today (or ever!). This challenge to encourage is closely connected to submission.
Men respond to women who respect them. What do you respect about your husband? Part of that respect includes submission to his authority. Let your husband know how respecting him makes it easier to submit to his leadership. Show your respect in public by listening to him and smiling at him when he speaks. Place your hand in his as you walk together.
If you feel there is nothing to respect, search harder . . . nearly every man has some core characteristic that can be nurtured and respected. In any case, you must still cultivate a submissive spirit to his position of leadership . . ."as to the Lord."
****This is an area that I have been having to work on alot. I was not raised being submissive....Our motto was "Can you spell REBEL?" Really it was. We were raised that if you didnt like the decision that your husband made, you told him about it and you kept on until he changed his mind. I do respect Paul. I am having to try and remind myself to keep my mouth shut and let him decide and if he wants my opinion he will ask. I dont interfere when he is talking to someone in public, if I believe that he said something wrong, I wait and try to ask him about it later. I dont just blurt out (in private or other wise) "Hey, thats not what its supposed to be.." We both made a deal when Kylie was little that we would never put down the others authority in front of the kids. Due to stress and alot of other factors in life, we have forgotten this but we are trying to get back to it. I do believe that us not playing good guy-bad guy in front of the kids helps. You can tell when we do it. They get confused and dont know who to listen to. This is not teaching my girls to respect their husband either. Its a daily struggle that is getting easier but I do want Paul to know that I respect him and love him and honor him. I do want to be a submissive wife and I want my kids to grow up knowing what that is so that they may be submissive wives. ******
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Day 10: Husband Encouragement Challenge!
We all crave appreciation. We want to know that we are valued and loved. Early love letters probably reflected our admiration, but if we're not careful, our spouse will forget why we were drawn to him. If you still have any of your old love letters, re-read them for clues to deepen your current level of appreciation for your spouse. When we spend time criticizing our husbands, we lose time that could be spent admiring them. As you consider various ways to encourage your husband, ask, "How can I admire him?"
Does your husband know that you think he is attractive? What was one of the characteristics in your husband that first drew you to him? Was it a physical characteristic, or something else?
Was it his gentle, compassionate eyes? Kindness or concern for others? An easy-going confidence? A steadiness that comes from trusting in the Lord? Strength of character in a culture that lacks integrity? Do you see at least a glimpse of that characteristic in him today? Whatever it is, tell him!
*****Honestly, I cant remember exactly what it was that drew me to Paul. I know that sounds bad but I cant. As I have said on here before, I had given my life to God and decided that if He wanted me to have someone, then they would come. I had known Paul all my life and he was one of those guys that everytime you saw him, you got a smile and a big hug. When we were both at Church Camp, I found myself falling in love with him and thinking that I couldnt do that because I didnt want a boyfriend...well apparently, God didnt want me to have a boyfriend, he wanted me to have a husband because six months later we were married. I love Paul more today than I did when we married and in different ways. I am sure all of you who read this and have been married for any number of years will know what I mean. It is a more Godly love today than it was 5 years ago. Things I love about him. I love how when he calls, he always says "Hello my Love" or "Hello my sweetheart bear" (Always when he calls my phone he says this,,,ask my sisters, they have answered my phone before...lol. ) When he comes through the door in the evenings, no matter how bad a day he has, he always smiles for his babies. I love is smile more today, especially when it spreads to his eyes and you can see them light up. I love his kindness and his genorosity. I love the Christian that he is.
Take the Challenge, I promise you wont be disapointed.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
I have not been posting about these because I have used the excuse that I dont have time. But I realized this morning that I need to make time to do this, I need to take the time to encourage my husband not only in person but on here because he reads this sometimes and if I post it on here, then maybe that will help him too.
My sister is doing this and she is on day 9 of the challenge so instead of posting the readings for the first 9 days, I am just going to post links to her site and to Revive our Hearts and then post my thoughts on each day.
Revive our Hearts
Day 1 Okay, I forgot to give my husband a wake up call! Usually in the morning, I am grouchy and just want him to go to work so I can have my quiet time. I need to work on this. I have told him that I am glad that he is my husband and that I am so happy that God put us together. But I do need to work on starting his day better because he does have a job that he doesnt like, and he does have rough days. So I will work on this.
Day 2----Paul is a handyman. He is a carpenter. He's not a mechanic. He is one of those people that helps everyone. He is so sweet and loving to our kids and I. He fixes things that are broke around here, he helped me get my garden tilled (when he was sick), he made sure that Jack helped me out when I was sick (because Paul had to work). He is a wonderful husband. Very helpful and very caring and always willing to give me a break....(which is sometimes very often.)
I Love him very much and cant say enough about how much he helps.
Day 3---Paul is very gentle and affectionate and loving. He does show me how much he loves me. He's not the type to say it a lot but he does show it. I have a bad habit of nagging and I need to quit. I really really do. Just this morning, he took Alaina with him to run errands because he knows that I need a break from her because she whines alot and so he took her. Now he didnt tell me "Honey I love you and know you need a break" but he instead said "Alaina, you want to go with Daddy?" He knew and he helped....
Day 4---I have to say that Paul doesnt know how much I appreciate him going to a job that he doesnt like everyday. He knows that we appreciate it but he doesnt know how much. He is great for doing this. When he is out of work, or when it looks like he wont have work for a couple of days, he finds more to do so we wont run short on money. He is very very resourceful.
Day 5-- I try to praise him in front of others...It is really hard around certain people though because they tend to run their husbands down instead of lift him up and it rubs off on me. I will try to do better though..I will do better. I will tell people what a good husband he is and what a good dad and provider he is. Because he is wonderful. In his lessons at Church, he is always lifting me up and praising me. I need to do the same things.....
Day 6---Paul is a very good carpenter and a very good speaker at Church. He is also very good at figuring out ways to help me organize and to do things withouth spending lots of time on them. He welds, quilts (yes....), cooks, sews, does laundry. He is an all around great husband! Someone I am very proud to be married to..
Day 7--Paul is actually alot better than me at handling our finances. He is great at laying out a monthly bill plan and telling me to follow it. Seriously. He doesnt have the time to actually pay the bills so I have the checkbook and I get the checks and he has a bill plan wrote out and I follow it. What is leftover (if anything) I tell him how much and we decide what to do with it. He is wonderful at helping me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He helps me figure out how to get stuff that I otherwise dont think we have the money to get. He doesnt like to say no to any of us so we have to watch what we ask for.
Day 8--Faithfulness. Paul is very faithful to me, to our marriage. Not to say that we havent had our struggles. We have had our disagreements. Something that alot of people that arent family dont know is that Pauls first wife was unfaithful in their marriage. She hurt him deep. I am very fortunate to be married to a man who believes that when you marry someone, it is as God says and your body and heart become theirs. He would never be unfaithful to me. Never. He calls alot of girls sweetheart or dear or (just jokingly, girlfriend) and they all think I am very lucky to have such a loving and caring husband...And I think I am blessed. Highly Blessed.
Day 9---Ummmmm. I dont do very well at listening. I often find myself drifting off in thought when he tells me something. And I tend to have the mindset (subconciously) that if I cant be involved in it physically or have a say so in it, then I really dont want to listen to him talk about it. I shouldnt be that way, I ought to be open to all he says and really listen to him and show interest in what he talks about. I would probably learn alot if I would just listen to him. I will work on this.
Please if you havent already joined, do. Just going through the last nine days, I have learned so much. Now if I can just put what I have learned into action, My marriage would truly be blessed.
Go to Revive Our Hearts and look around. Youll be very blessed at what you read there.
Wondering in His Word
Friday, April 18, 2008
Okay I've Been Tagged! Thanks Julie!
** Here are the rules**
A) Post the rules at the beginning
B) Answer the questions about yourself
C) Tag 5 people to do the same
1-- What was I doing 10 yrs ago?
Pretty boring. I was a junior in high school. Working for my mom. And doing what all teenagers do....dating..(ewww). lol.
2--Snacks I enjoy.
Well lets see. Like my sister, I like pickles and pickle juice (same here, basketball concession stands..lol) I like rice cakes with honey, fruit, celery and peanut butter, and oh yeah...Popcorn (like you get at a concession stand... :) )
3--5 things on my to do list.
1) Finish dresses for girls 2) grade Jacks school work 3) finish reading "Marriage Gods Way" (cant remember the exact title or author) second time through 4) Finish reading the Little House Series to the girls 5) Spend time with Paul tonight after the kids are asleep.
4--Things I would do if I became a Billionaire.
1) Provide the money to finish our Church Building. 2) Provide the money to finish Church Camp 3) Give money to my parents and parent in laws to pay bills (and of course buy whatever else they wanted.) 4) Give all my siblings money.. 5) Buy lots of hunting land for my husband and son. 6) Buy my son a truck... 7) Buy my Husband a truck. 8) Put money back in a trust for my kids to have someday. 9) Give to needy people (adults and children alike) 10) Give to help support homeschooling. 11) Buy me a Nissan Altima.
5-- Three Habits Good or Bad.
1) I nag on my husband a lot..(trying to get better) 2) I eat way too much Chocolate 3) I love DR. Pepper (Wait thats an addiction not a habit) :)
6) Five places I've lived.
1) My mom and dads house 2) Idabel, Ok 3) Westville, Ok 4) Ringold, Ok 5) Here.. Hey I have lived five different places.lol
7) Places I've worked at. 1) My moms business...2) Piggly Wiggly 3) The high school that we went to. 4) Wal-Mart 5) Day Care 6) Cafe 7) My moms and brother in laws diesel shop 8) My home business with my husband. 9) Like Julie said, the best job I've had so far....being a Mom and a Wife.
8) Things people dont know about me. *I know the basics of installing doors and hardware in commercial buildings. * I can run a drill press, grinder, and chop saw.....not a cutting torch..(Julie you got one on me) * I like Star Trek. * I cant hardly run anymore because of old basketball injuries..(my knee doesnt like to even stretch or walk fast.) * I struggle every week to make it on our budget. * I often struggle about going to Church. Its not that I dont want to go. I just sometimes struggle with making my self go. * We dont have cable.
People I tag.
I dont have 5 but here goes.
and whoever else is reading this that wants to do it.
Love and Prayers
Friday, April 11, 2008
I just had to post this link tonight. I read it and bawled and bawled some more until Jack asked me what was wrong. "They have such faith and trust and and and...I just cant explain it...Here Read.." I cant explain it..Just amazing faith..amazing. I honestly dont know if I could do what they did. I dont know. I would try I know that. But I really think I would be one of those people that asked God "Why" . Read their story, read the letter that she wrote and look at the pictures. It is so sad, yet so joyous at the same time.
I remember a note that was wrote in a book that my mom recieved when my older sister was killed in a car wreck..(this happened before I was born....) It said that God needed another rose for his bouquet. He needed another angel. This is true. This note was a big help to my mom in her years of grief. She recalled it even as we were teenagers. My sisters name was Sharon. And any time that we sang a song in Church that had the words "Rose of Sharon" or anything about Gods Bouquet in it, my mom would smile. She knows where Sharon is, just like Audreys parents know where she is...they are in Jesus precious safe arms..where the evils of this world cannot harm them. They are bein rocked to sleep at night in his Holy hands.
Like I said, I would probably (even knowing all this) be one of the parents that ask WHY? But my mom and Angie, (Audrey's mom) are not that type of parents. They praise Him and bless Him and love the time they had with their precious babies, whether a few hours or a few years, they thank Him for that. Malisa put it very nicely on her post.
Please pray that they will continue to keep their faith and that they may heal in Gods timing.
Love and Prayers
I titled this post Ummm...because I dont really know what to call it. I guess I could have called it Different Links, but to me that is just not as interesting as ummm..... lol.
I had the perfect post in my head a couple of days ago...it was about Being Real. So seeing as I had a Migraine for a couple of days and wasnt going to blog, I thought well I'll keep it in my head and type it when I get better. Well, my sister beat me to it. She's good at that. Beating me to things. I dont know how she does it. (I love Ya Sis)
So then I thought that well, I would just do a couple of different links on my blog of post that I have found inspiring and helpful the last couple of days. So that is what I am going to do. But first, my version of being real.
My husband hates his job. Everyday, he goes to it knowing that he is going to get griped at. Everyday, he comes home in a bad mood and on edge because he thinks that everyone here is going to gripe at him. (This is not saying anything bad about him!). Even though he comes home this way, he calmes down after a couple of hours and is the sweetest most wonderful father and husband you could ask for. This has however taken a toll on our marriage and on our kids lives. So we are having to back up and think about what we do and how we say stuff. It has been a challenge the past couple of weeks since we realized this.
Alaina, is a whiner...most of the time. She knows when she does something wrong and when you say her name to get onto her for it, she whines and carries on and doesnt quit until you tell her you are going to swat her tail for it. She has always been a whiner. Except when she was an infant, she was my good baby then, she would lay in the floor and play or in her crib and play and she slept all night. But as soon as she turned 1 it seemed, the whining started and hasnt stopped. Add this to my anxiety over my husband coming home in a bad mood and you have a bad combination around here. Any suggestions on getting her to stop whining? I am at my wits end with her...It is driving me crazy.
That is my being real!
Now for some inspiring links the last couple of days.
My sister posted an article about RESPECTING Your husband. It had a link in it to go to Revive our Hearts website and listen to a radio show by Nancy Leigh Demoss. Oh Boy did she step on some toes in our family. Big Time! Here is the link to the program. And here is the link to my sisters thoughts on the matter. Needless to say, I completely agree with her. I am going to join the challenge that they issued. A 30 day challenge to uplift and encourage your husband instead of dragging him through the dirt. (And yes he knows what I posted above and he is okay with me posting it. He said it didnt really put him down, it is just being real.) So Starting later today, I hope to post my Encouragement for the day! We will see how I do.
Kelli is always encouraging in her post. She post Verses or thoughts that she thinks of everyday and I gain a little wisdom from every one. I dont always comment but I do enjoy them.
This Blog, is encouraging that they are keeping their faith through what they are experiencing right now. I cry everytime I read it but I also smile because I know that their little girl is safe and that they still have their Faith. And through Him we can do anything right?
I found a few more last night but I cant remember what they are. Migraines seem to do that to me...they make me feel disoriented and I lose my short term memory for a couple of days. I hope I am past that for the time being and can function normally for a few days.
We have a long weekend coming up but I am not going to post about it until Monday or Tuesday. It has alot to do with some decisions we have been trying to make in our lives here lately. But I will inform you later.
Prayers. Pleas pray for the above mentioned family That they may keep their faith and have some peace about what God is doing in their lives.
Pray for my sister that she may get the rest and peace that she needs in her life right now. And that she may continue to have a safe and uneventful pregnancy.
Pray for my family that we may open our hearts and our ears and eyes to hear and see what God has planned for us. And that we may have the wisdom to do what is right.
And now for a funny.... Every Sunday in Church, our men try to lead songs that the little kids like to sing at least once. One of our men had lead Wonderful Words of Life for a couple of Sundays because the kids like to sing it. And my son Jack would lead Jesus Loves Me. Well on Easter Sunday, when Paul was home sick, Rick (The man that leads the first song) instead of singing Wonderful Words of Life lead a different song...(cant remember what it was) Alaina looks at me and says " Him not sing Wonerful Words of Life Momma". I quietly told her that it was okay, he could lead a different song....She then turns to Jack and tells him. He tells her it is okay we can sing different songs. Well she seemed okay with this. When it came time for Jack to sing his song, He led Amazing Grace instead of Jesus Loves Me. Alain just started crying. To the point that I had to take her outside to find out what was wrong. Jack hadnt lead Jesus Loves Me and it was the last song so now we couldnt sing it either and Rick didnt lead Wonderful Words of Life...and I think in her eyes, the world was over. To her delight, Jack lead Jesus Loves Me last Sunday and you should have heard her sing. I dont think there was a dry eye in the house.
That is one thing at our Church. Yes we try to keep them relatively quiet during the lesson so we can listen too, but when it comes to singing and worshiping God. We let them sing their little hearts out and it is so precious. Paul is usually our preacher on Sundays. There is one other guy that does preach but most usually here lately, he has had to work on Sundays. People that come to our Church may think it is weird because during the invitaiton song, my little girls (and soon to be Jason too I am afraid) run up to their daddy at the front of the Church and jump up in his arms and sing the invitation song with Daddy. If anyone happens to go up for prayers, my daughters share in the hug and the prayers and the tears. Kylie told me one Sunday that that guy was sad, and I told her yes but we werent to talk about it because that was between him and God and daddy. And she said I know Momma, I wont say nothin..but he needs prayers. So everyday for a week at Lunch, she would pray for this guy when she said our lunch prayer.
I had one lady tell me that if we were to do things decently and in order, that they would not be allowed to do that. Another elderly gentlemen who was listening at the same time said, if it happens every Sunday and God knows that then it is in order. It is when they dont do it that it is out of order because everyone is wondering why they dont....I dont particurly think God is going to look down on us for letting two little girls go up and give their Daddy hugs during invitation time. Now when Kylie gets a little older, I will probably try to get her to stay at the bench with me but for now, she can give her daddy and the members who need prayers all the hugs she wants.
And on that thought, I think I will go fix some breakfast and get things ready for our weekend.