Husband Encouragement Challenge

Have you ever thought about how many different ways that you tear your house down with your words? Actions? I finished up the book Biblical Womanhood the other night.....there was a chapter in it about how the foolish woman tears down her house..........I had never thought about how I tear down my house with my words. I know some of you are probably going to *gasp* at that but I never had. I was raised in a rebellious house so it never struck me as wrong to be sassy. I have gotten better over the last 6 yrs of marriage. My husband says that I am pretty submissive, and have really put a guard on my tongue.

But the book got me to thinking about what else I do that is foolish. I dont always just take what Paul says in front of people....sometimes I have to stick my opinion in there and make him feel little and not worth alot.

Then Sunday, Day 5 of the H.E.C. Was about this
Day Five:
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for
necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Yeah bad day for that! We had more words than I can think of. But when I got home and was reading Biblical Womanhood, I realized that I should have just shut my mouth. I was being very foolish.

Yesterday was better, Today is going good so far. I have been up both mornings this week to see him off to work which he really enjoys. He doesnt like leaving without someone to tell him bye!

Todays challenge.......
Day Seven:
"Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!...for riches
certainly make themselves wings..." Prov. 23:4-5
"That I may cause those who love me to inherit wealth, that I may fill their treasuries."
Proverbs 8:21
Money is the root of much marital discord. Ask yourself, "Am I being negative toward my
husband in the area of finances?" Determine not to speak evil of your husband in this
area. Discover ways to encourage and help him instead..........

Thats just part of it..... But I am going to try really hard today, to not only build my house up, but to build my husband up! I dont want to be the foolish woman who tears her house down.......not only with words but with actions too.....

Oddly enough, I am also on Day 3 of the Power of a Praying Wife......guess what today is.. His Finances!

Share with me though, some ways that we can build up our homes and our husbands!!!! And how is yoru challenge going?

The getting up early, I'm getting there, I was lazy a couple of days, but mostly, I have been up at 6 or earlier.....this morning, my alarm was set for 5:30, Paul turned it off instead of snoozing it, and told me to go back to sleep, I tried I really did, but it seems like my body was ready to face the day, now if I could just do something about the circles around my eyes :0)........

Do we appreciate our spouse?

I had a revelation I guess you would call it this past week. See, I have been really really really grouchy (all right I have been H_l_ on wheels) the past couple of weeks. I finally figured out why last week. It is because I dont feel appreciated. I dont feel like anything I do matters or that it even gets noticed. I know that my kids notice, I get "Thank You Mommas" and "Momma I love you" and "ooohhhh momma its so pretty and clean" But the past few months I havent been getting , "Honey the house looks great" or "Honey that meal sure was good" or anything like that...

Yes I know I am not supposed to get mad over this, I know he goes to work everyday and works really really hard to support our family (and he doesnt have an easy job either. It is very physically and mentally demanding.) I know that he is supposed to have a clean house and a good meal on the table when he gets home. I know all this. But Like him and I talked (okay fought) about this weekend is how if he expects us to tell him how much we appreciate him going to work everyday and working as hard as he does then what is wrong with me expecting him to tell me that I did a good job? I know it is not supposed to work that way but you can only take so long of not ever being told that you are doing a good job.

It is only human nature to notice when something is wrong and not all the many days in a row that it is right. Like Paul said when we were talking. All he notices is when he comes home and there are toys out or I havent folded the last load of laundry that came out of the dryer. He cant remember the many days that he comes home and the house is clean and the laundry is put up.

Same goes for me. When he comes home and sits down instead of doing things I know needs done or on weekends when he does stuff that he wants to do instead of doing things that he has been supposed to do for the past three months. I get irritated and all I see are all the things he hasnt done instead of the things that he does.

So my question today is Do we really appreciate our spouse? Do we show or tell that we appreciate the way that they need to be told? I am a verbal person. I need to be told that I am doing a good job. And come to find out Paul is too. He said he hasnt been telling me when I do good because i havent been telling him. And in his word when he called me Monday morning to say he was sorry...." I am sorry I havent been telling you that I appreciate you. Its not right for me to expect to be told that I'm appreciated when I dont do it myself. I'll try to do better and maybe if youll help me I can get better at it. Cause I do Love you and Appreciate you!"

Lets just say that I am in a lot better mood now. I am more willing to make sure the house is clean and I havent grumbled today about having to do anything that requiers extra work because I know that I am appreciated. I know that the smile on his face when he comes home to a clean house and a happy wife will be worth it.

Just a little food for thought. Tell me what you think or what you do to show or tell your husband your appreciation.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Several post all rolled into one.

I am going to try and post several things that I have been wanting to post about in this one. We will see how far I get. My internet is acting up tonight and my kids are all cranky.

• In my post on appreciative husbands the other day, I mentioned about not being taught how to be submissive in some things. MOM, THIS IS NOT ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!

I read an article a while back about being a cranky wife. It explained alot of what I had been missing in my studying of my life. I will try and link to it later. It explained that if we do not study or realize that there is a different way of life then we go on in the same patterns that our mothers or our role models did. I realized that my mom not being submissive in all things and having a rebellious nature that wasnt always quieted when it should have been came partly from her mom and grandmother. If any of you reading this knew my great grandmother, you would realize that mostly it came from her.... She was very vocal and very rebellious. I believe that my mother tried her best and did her best according to what she was taught and not ever realizing that it was not all correct, never studied to be any different. I dont fault her or blame her for this, I have a choice now that I realize this that I can either continue in this rut or I can study the correct way to be. I have been working on this alot. So far, Paul says I do okay. Some days he gives me this look that says I need to go read my Bible some more. So I do......

I love you Mom. You are the best mom anyone could ask for. Like I said, I do not fault or blame you for this. I am so glad that you are my mom......

• I have also been wanting to post on my progress with the kids and homeschooling.......We are not progressing......Between Jason's birth, getting him on a schedule, going to see Julie when she had the baby, then I had a really bad sinus infection that had me literally exausted....and now Jason is teething....yes i know he is only 2 1/2 months old, but he is teething so some days are really really trying.....and now Alaina's allergies are really making her cranky. So we are not doing so well....I have been working some with them and we are going to start in earnest with Kylie in August .
• I have been trying to get back on my schedule of cleaning house. It is frustrating. I cannot handle having to do laundry every day. I absolutely cannot. I refuse. But now I need to figure out how to get a handle on it and only have to do a load of Jasons clothes and baby wipes every other day.
• I am going to put a link in my sidebar for my menu every week. Not only will this let you know what I am fixing but it will remind me on days when I forget to open my binder and get on here.
• My sister loaned me a book on nutritional healing. It is really pretty interesting. I am learning alot from it....
• Kylie learned(is that even a word?) how to say part of a prayer....."God is Good, God is Great, Thank him for our food. AMEN" not exactly the right words but she is learning and I am very proud of her. She is trying so hard to make us proud and I cant figure out how to get across to her that I am proud of her already and she doesnt have to make us proud. How do I do this?

I guess that is all for now. I dont really have a whole lot more to say. I need to update my reading list but will wait until I order some of the books that I checked out from the library. They are really interesting.

Love and Prayers.

Apreciative Husband

Okay, Everyone knows I went to see my family for a week when my sister had her baby. Well I think it made Paul think a little. Or else he just missed me like crazy. Sunday at Church his lesson was on Submissive wives (he actually complimented me on this one.) Loving husbands (he said he needed to work on this one I say he is great) and how much Christ loved the Church. He started out talking about how him and I have been working on having a more spiritual relationship and a more biblically correct one. No I dont mean that we arent married or that we do anything that we arent supposed to. Just that we have been working on our roles in the marriage according to what God commanded us to do. I have been working on being more submissive. Something that is really hard for me because I was raised being rebellious (no offense to my mom but that is another post I might do that later today.) I was not taught how to be submissive in certain matters. Anyway so I am having to study and learn how in order to have a biblically correct marriage. this is very important to me because I want to do what God commanded me to do.

Paul is supposed to love me as Christ loved the Church. He claims that he needs work in this area. I say he doesnt because he is a great husband. Sure we have our arguments, but their is nothing he would not do for me. He has even lightened up on how clean the house is. He used to say he wanted it spotless and now he realizes that with three kids and a home business it is not ever going to be spotless. (well maybe when the kids get old enough that they are not constantly making messes) but anyway, he was talking about how he needs to be more of my helpmeet. I thought I was supposed to be his helpmeet.

It got me to thinking that I dont really appreciate all that he does. It also made me realize that he does appreciate what i do in our relationship. He says he doesnt appreciate it enough. I sometimes feel like he doesnt. But anyway, do we as wives really look at what our husbands do and really appreciate the hard work that they do to bring home the money for our food and clothes and our wants. I know sometime I dont. Every two weeks when it comes time for that check, I figure up bills and groceries(yes Paul can trust me with his house (money included because i do not overspend.) all i can think about is there isnt enough money to do everything that we need to do. I dont ever stop and tell God thank you for my husband having a job and being able to pay the bills and buy groceries. I whine about what i cant do. That is not very appreciative.

I have often heard out of alot of women that their husbands do not do anything but sit in a chair and watch tv. Well.... to those women.....have you stopped to think about how much work he has done over the years. Or what circumstances in his life have led up to him just wanting to sit there. My dad for example sits in his chair alot. he has depression and post traumatic stress disorder (not fun). He gets a disability check from the VA because he was in the service in Vietnam ( reason for the ptsd.) It used to bug me as a teen ager that my dad was like this. He worked alot more when I was a teen ager but he still sat in that chair alot. I often thought that he didn't do anything. I never stopped to realize that he has done plenty. he went to the service, he has worked hard all his life providing for his family. even when he could no longer drive a truck to provide, his brain came up with the idea of building cattle equipment to provide so he started that business. He has always provided for our family. We have always known that if we needed anything all we had to do was ask. But yet we accuse him of not doing anything.
HAHAHAHAH....He has done his part. It is his time to rest. His diablility check now provides for him and my mom. If he hadnt done something, they would not get that. So HE HAS DONE PLENTY.

If my husband wanted to quit his job tommorow and try and find something else, I would not complain. If he got hurt tommorow and could not work, I would not say that he never does anything because he has done plenty. he has provided for his family and if he was not physically able to work, his brain would come up with something to make money.

I just do not feel like we appreciate our husbands enough. This is part of being submissive and loving to our husbands. Because if we dont appreciate them then we do not completeyly love them and we cannot be completely submissive to them.

I know my husband has a new appreciation for how much I do because while I was gone, he had to do some of the paper work, go to work everyday, go to class two nights a week and get ready for the weekend where he set up his T-shirt booth. Yes he used to do all this (minus class) before we got married, but he hasnt had to do it all in a while and he usually has me to help him get ready for shows. It wasnt fun he said. He missed me. lol..........But his lesson at Church Sunday told me just how much he does appreciate me and how much he loves me. I was in tears in the middle of Church. And he says he isnt the best husband he can be..........we will have to see about that.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Who am I?

My husband has a lesson called "Who am I?" It talks about how God made us and knew who we were and what we were to be even before we were born . I just wanted to pose this question to all of you.

My answer to this is not complete because I have yet to discover all of my abilities. But as of right now, I am #1 a CHRISTIAN, I am a child of God and My first Job is to serve him. # 2 I am a Wife, My second Job is to serve my husband in a Godly manner. #3 I am a mother, My third job is to raise my children up in a Godly manner and to teach them Gods word. #4 I am a Sister in Christ and my job as this is to be there for my brothers and sisters. This has been an issue lately with one sister in particular. I need to be there for her but I don't know how to help her.

Like I said, My list is not complete, I have yet to discover everything. I am living and learning everyday.

I just wanted to put this question to you. Let me know what you think, Email or leave a comment.

I have also gotten interested in reading a Book that my husband has. it is "The Zondervan Parallel New Testament In Greek and English" It is basically the new testament in the King James Version, The New International Version and then translated from Greek. It is interesting to see how close or different the different versions are from the Greek. I love reading old languages like that. Paul thought I was nuts when I said I wanted to read it. But I loved Humanities in College and Old World Literature. So I am reading this book. It will take a while as I read the Greek and follow along with the other versions but I will get there. And hey, I am reading the Bible as I go.

Anyway, I have to go feed Baby.
Love and Prayers

Answered my own question

I posted a couple of weeks ago about how we as christian women are supposed to do what the Bible says about visiting the sick and elderly. I have since figured it out by some careful reading and studying and visiting with a couple of older ladies in the church.

We as women have a responsibility first to God. He is our first priority and in this we are supposed to do as he says. He tells us first to be wives and keepers at home (Titus 2). I have personally fought this one in the past because I felt I could contribute more to our household if I finished college and worked. I have since figured out that I am better serving HIM if I follow his commandment and stay home and manage my home and my children. I have started doing this by scheduling my time to better serve my household needs and my husband and still putting GOD first by scheduling HIM for first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I know it seems weird to have to schedule HIM into your day but when you werent taught (for lack of a better word and no offense to my mother honestly she probably did this and we never saw her) But until it becomes and everyday thing I have to be reminded to pay reverence to HIM. The rest of my day is scheduled to keep my house clean, my kids occupied and my husbands needs met. I of course come in the middle somewhere. (For right now.)

In answer to my question about seeing the sick and the elderly. I have to schedule it in there. God doesn't want me to give up a clean house or my christian duties to my family in order to visit. I have to put it in my schedule. Now of course if One of my sisters or brothers falls deathly ill in the middle of the week, i will drop my schedule for the day and go visit and pick up my schedule when i am no longer needed at the bedside of my brother or sister. But just ordinary visits can be made on my scheduled day. Which for me is going to be Tuesday's but only after I get the rest of my schedule working like it is supposed to.

I havent wrote this to offend anyone or to make anyone mad but only to maybe help those that are struggling with how to do everything that we are supposed to do. It is not that hard if you stop and study about what you are supposed to do first. I have been following my schedule as closely as I can excluding days that I hurt so bad I can't do anything. But as time gets closer for Jason to come I find I hurt less unless I do something really stupid. Now this means that i have had to delegate some of my chores to Paul on the weekends or in the evenings but only if he is available and has nothing else to do. He does not forgo what he has to do in order to do my bidding. If it doesnt get done oh well it will be there when I am able to do it. I have found that by scheduling my time, my house is a lot cleaner, my kids are happier when they are occupied and not just told to "go play" and I am also teaching them the art of Christian Homemaking. I get laughed at because I tell people that Kylie gets mad if I dont let her do laundry. She loves to take clothes out of the dryer and put them in as i hand them to her and to give me clothes for the washer. she also loves to fold washclothes and put them away. And she really does get mad if I dont let her help.

Right now my kiddos just woke up from nap so it is snack time and then time to really clean that kitchen......Kylie and Alaina both help with this one too...