More on Happenings and Alaina

Well, I said in my last post that I have alot going on around here. My physical house is almost all in order. I still have to get to the girls room, (which Kylie cleaned yesterday almost completely on her own)... our office...which is a complete mess and my laundry room.

My spiritual house is getting there. We are getting back on track with the Love Dare, I am starting to get in my Bible reading every day, although I have not been getting up at 6, (sick kids...) I have been doing my reading. I have been trying to get back into reading blogs and while I may not comment on everyone, I am trying to "surf" three or four a day to catch up.

I also am doing something that I have been battling for a long time. I have battled depression ever since I can remember. I have always been a fighter, I did things to keep me busy instead of letting depression drag me down.....not that I am not still fighting, just that it is not working somuch anymore.. I will save the rest for a later post that I am working on but lets just say that after my last depressive period, Paul and I talked and I now have an appointment with a doctor that I trust to try to get a handle on this......I will post on more as soon as I feel I am able....just keep us in your prayers as I am dealing with this. If any of you deal with depression, then you know what I am talking about.

Alaina, the latest of my sick kids....(between the virus and allergies, it has been a rough couple of weeks. Alaina has the latest round of coughs and just plain feeling cruddy. It is a mix between allergies and bronchitis....their doctor put her on a nebulizer until the coughing stops and then I have it in case they need it. So I am staying home with them until this weekend when I have to go get groceries...I would really love to go to the library but not with her being as sick as she is and RSV going around....Plus she is on a steroid for the bronchitis...which means her immune system is lower...We've been this round with Jason and Kylie in the last couple of weeks.


So here is what I am thankful for today!!!!! I am thankful that I have a warm house in which to keep my babies while they get well. I am thankful that the water doesnt freeze in the whole house stil, just one end of it. lol. I am thankful that it is SNOWING today....flurries but my babies are getting to see snow. I am thankful that my hubby is getting extra days at work this week and next. I am thankful that it is a three paycheck month....money to pay off a bill!!!! I am thankful that I have an understanding husband and that he encourages me and doesnt put me down when I feel like I need to get help. I am thankful for my family (here and everywhere) that I know they will be there for me when I need it, no matter what it is.... I am thankful for Church Family (here and everywhere) that they are uplifting and encouraging. I am thankful for my almost clean house and that I have the health and ability to clean it. I am thankful for Moms night out....to give me a little break and get with other moms who go through what I do every day. I am thankful that I serve a just God and a loving God!!!!! and that I still have the freedom to serve HIM!

Blessings to all
Crystal

Catching Up

I am sorry that I have been absent lately. I have been really super busy. Like I said in my last post, this is a very busy time in our lives.

I do have another Birthday Wish though...Happy Birthday to my sister Tammy! I know I am late posting it but hey, I sent her a card and I have good excuses for being late....lol.

I have several prayer request.. 1. Please pray for Micah and Michayla. From what I understand they are sick and Micah is taking breathing treatments. They are some very cute kids.. 2..Please pray for my friend Misty. She has been having some pains in her back and chest and is not sure what it is. The doctors cant find anything. Please pray that she gets better soon.

3. Please pray for my husband. He has been sick since Friday. I took him to the ER Sunday (story to come) and they said it was just a really bad sinus infection and bronchitis. I have never seen him this sick though. Not even when he had pneumonia. He is just not bouncing back. He missed Church yesterday and work today and possibly will miss tommorow. He just doesnt miss Church at all...and almost the same with work. But he missed both so I know he has to be feeling baddddd...

Our Easter Sunday was not what I had planned or expected but maybe God is trying to tell me to slow down and be more flexible. It started out like I said Friday with Paul coming home sick and just kept getting worse. Saturday I was worried about him and trying to get everything ready for Church Sunday. I had lots of laundry to catch up on from our busy week last week and my kids werent cooperating. Then they missed their nap because right in the middle of nap time was their cousins birthday party. So Jack took them to it while I stayed home and took care of Paul and Jason took part of his nap. He got woke up by some very loud neighbors and was then cranky. When Jack and the girls got home, I then had them lay down and very quietly read some books and put Jason back down to finish his nap. Then I put a brisket in the oven for Sunday dinner and made deviled eggs. After supper Saturday, the girls got their bath and we rolled their hair on sponge rollers (they love this and it used to be an every saturday night thing.) and they went to bed.

Sunday Morning, Paul was still not feeling good and Kylie got up with a fever and her head hurting....So I gave her some tylenol, figuring she would stay home with Daddy and then I decided to stay home with them and let Jack take Alaina to church..but Kylie started crying and wanting to go to Church and so we got her dressed and we all (minus paul) went to Church.......After Kylie took a nap during Church she was fine. I think she just needed sleep. She runs a fever when she is too tired. She had a little bit of a fever later on in the evening but she took another nap with Daddy and was okay again. Here are some pics of my dressed up babies..

Alaina, She looks so much like my granny in the top picture and in the bottom one, well, she looks like the goofy, your gonna love me whether you want to or not little girl that she is. She is a mess. That is for sure.

My movie star. She is so photogenic most of the time. And she loves posing for pictures...all you have to do is get the camera out and she is posing....now Alaina, she wants to see how it works..not be in front of it...lol.

I dont have any of Jason or Jack. Do you know how hard it is to get pictures of a 1 yr old and a 17 yr old?

Anyway, we didnt stay and hunt eggs or anything after church, we came home and I took paul to the ER while my mother in law watched the kids. (THANK YOU GRANNY AND PAPA) They got to hunt eggs with their cousins while they were there though so I think they had fun. (THANK YOU MIRANDA AND KK AND AUNT DUCKY!)

Today, while my husband was taking a nap, Jack and I got the garden started. We are starting brand new here at our house so we are having to turn it over with shovels before we till it. It is just too hard to til unless we do. So tonight we are awfully sore and tired. I will try to take some pictures tommorow if we do it and post them. We are also starting our own worm farm. I will try to post a link later but a cute story........

Jack and I would find worms as we were digging and we would tell Kylie. She would then put a glove on and very excitedly, run over and hold her gloved hand out so we could put the worm on it. Then she would very carefully so as not to drop it, go over to the bucket and drop it in. She done this several times. One time, we were watching her carry it over and she got to the bucket and dropped it in but instead of dropping the glove and going off to play, she leans over the bucket and says in a very sing song voice.." There you go, now you have all those nice friends to play with..." It was so cute and so Kylie. For those of you that know Kylie personally, you can imagine this. She was adorable. And so now we have about 20 or 30 "friends" in a bucket with dirt awaiting transplant to our worm farm...Very small scale (for our own use) worm farm. The kids think it is cool though.

For now, I am going to head to bed, since I have to get up early in the morning and grad Jacks school work. But Love and Prayers to everyone!

Crystal

Not Much

I know I have not been posting alot here lately. We have entered a busy season of our lives again and we are trying to adjust. I do have updates on the kids...they are all doing well. Kylie's urinary tract infection is gone..(thank God). Alaina is looking good. Jason is looking good. Jack is doing good.

Aside from that, we are just really really busy. Today is my mother in laws birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! We love you!

Anyway, just wanted to check in and let everyone know that we are okay.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

More Happenings...(Imagine that at my house..lol)

I just thought I would do an update post. Mom is home(she came home last monday) and is doing so much better. About the only thing left is her back is really really sore. We got her some therma care heat pads to wear around and she said they helped alot. Papa said she was liable to start doing too much because she felt so good. But I know her, it is not like her to sit around and be waited on but she will take it easy...If nothing else, so she can play with grandbabies...(she is a wonderful granny by the way in addition to a wonderful mother..)

She also said thanks for all the prayers. They really worked.

I was going to post about a book that I was reading but Jack stole it from me and he is really enjoying it so I dont want to steal it back right now.

Alaina is doing so much better today. I ended up taking her to the doctor wednesday and she had n ear infection but not much else besides just allergies. Her amazing nurse practitioner gave her som antibiotic ear drops and she is feeling much better.

I have been falling behind so much on school stuff. The girls keep asking me if they can do school and I have to tell them no because I have to get supper going or the laundry needs put up. We also run around alot. Just doing errands and stuff. Alot of people think they inconvenience me when they ask me to do stuff or to keep their kids (they dont I love doing things for people and keeping kids...) I tried for a while to stay home and get my kids on a perfect schedule. It dont work. So I have decided to just try to do the best I can and kinda take schooling on the road...I mean we already do alot of school on the road..(ie..."what color is the grass, what color is the sky...how many white cars are in the parking lot, how many red shirts do you see in the office, what letter does that start with...what shape is that light...) But this week, i have a couple of appointments and I think I am going to take Kylies phonics book with us and take Alaina a library book. I have this fear of them playing with the toys in the doctors office and at the wic office and stuff in the stores. I am so afraid that they will get sick. But thank God and pray that it continues, we have not gotten the flu this year. I hope and pray that we dont end up with it.

We dont really have anything else going on around here, Just alot of cleaning for this weekend. Jason turns 1 and we are having a little party for him here at the house.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Things going on around here.

Thank You all for your prayers. We are doing much better. Mom is supposed to get to come home today and we are all thankful for that. The only side effect she is having is slurred speech but even that was drastically improved last night. She is getting in and out of bed by herself and really doing much better.

We had a baby shower yesterday at Church for Sammi Jo and Josh and their new little baby. It was fun. They got some really pretty outfits for Amy. I am still not sure how they spell it, I was preoccupied with Alaina yesterday. I think her tonsils are making her sick. She was really whiny yesterday and keeps telling me that her throat hurts. Course the doctors office is closed today and Since she is not running a high fever and we have had enough of the hospital this weekend, we are waiting till tommorow to see if she feels better.

I dont really have that much else to say except we slept in this morning and I just finished my coffee and my dryer stopped so I need to go switch clothes out and get moving on some other stuff.

Thanks again for your prayers!

Love and Prayers
Crystal

UPDATE ON MOM!

I just returned from the hospital a little bit ago (Paul watched the kids so I could go check on my momma..he went and then came home so I could go.) and Momma Darlene is doing better. She did have a small stroke but she is not having any paralisis (sp) from it. The only thing is her speech is a little slurred (she bit her tongue really bad) and her memory is really really short. She is still really disoriented and cant remember alot from minute to minute but other than that she is doing great. They are still going to keep her for a few days. My Brother in law is staying with her at night and then we are all taking turns during the day.

Thank You all for your prayers and keep them coming, we could really use them right now.

Love and prayers
Crystal

What a week!

This week around our house hold has been really crazy. Sunday Morning, right after church, we recieved a phone call to tell us that Paul grandfather had passed away early Sunday Morning. We were kinda expecting him to go because he had several health problems but it was hard none the less. Wednesday was his Rememberance Day. He was cremated and didnt want a funeral, so we had a rememberance day to remeber all the great things he did in life. He was a very hardworking loving man that will be missed by all of us.

Then last night Jason didnt sleep well at all, he was running a fever and rubbing his ears. I thought well, I will call his doctor in the morning and see if I can get him in because the emergency room in our town takes forever. So this morning, I called and they couldnt get him in today and I never could get ahold of his nurse, she was busy. Well, right about when I was fixing to call his ENT doctor, I got a phone call from Paul saying that his mom had been taken to the hospital by amulance because she was unresponsive. So Jack and I loaded up the kids...(really quick) and went about five minutes to the hospital. So far, all they know is that her sodium was really really low. Normal is like 137.... Hers was 116. They said they have never seen anyone with that low of sodium before. When it hits double digits, you are usually dead. But the low sodium, caused cerebal edema (swelling of the brain) which in turn caused a series of mini strokes. When we left the hospital tonight, she was starting to answer our questions and tell us what she needed. So she is doing some better but she still has an infection somewhere that they cant figure out because her white blood cell count was way up...

Please keep our family in your prayers as you can tell we need them right now. I just realized last week how old my parents are getting and really noticed what bad shape my father is in and knew that my mother in law (like my mom) is in bad shape but to see her tonight....well you know its not easy. I always heard horror stories about mother in laws and from watching my family's experiences with them I wasnt expecting good results out of my inlaws. But I was very very wrong. You couldnt ask for better people. She has seen me through so much over the last 5 years. Shes been my rock at times and sometimes she has just told me how the "cow eats the cabbage" (for you non southerners, that is how it is). I have had the privalege of having three moms in my lifetime (mine, Wilma (my moms best friend that died of cancer) and my darling mother in law) and all three of them have been super. We just lost Wilma three years ago, I am not ready to give up another one yet. Not Yet!

On a happier note though.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAIRE! I am so sorry that I couldnt be there for your party. I miss you and love you though. Hope to see you soon!

Please pray and keep us in your thoughts.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Just Busy

I realized today that I havent posted since Saturday. Not that big a deal, just shows how busy we have been.

We have had several things going on around here. Sunday, we finished hanging sheetrock in the new Church building, so Monday, Kristy (another lady at Church) and I and our kids went up and swept and mopped up sheetrock dust. Mostly because it needed done but also because we dont want Amy to be breathing in that stuff when she comes to Church Sunday. Its not good for babies to be around that stuff. So we got that done and then Kristy came home with me and her little girl and mine played for a couple of hours while we visited. So nice to have some adult conversation. We have decided that at least once a month, we need to get together and just visit. She is about 3 years older than me and lives 30 minutes away and is very busy herself. She has three kids but the oldest two go to public school and the littlest is only 15 days younger than Alaina.

Tuesday, we had some stuff to take care of in town and then my parents came up to bring us our Christmas present. They had a cow butchered and split it between us three kids. My sisters and I all three got about 150-200lbs of beef. (Thank YOU MOM AND DAD!) WE really needed the meat. Trying to feed a teenage boy gets tough. But he is worth it.

So Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning were taken up with visiting with them. Wednesday evening I took the girls to the doctor for follow ups. Alaina is fine. Kylie still has her urinary tract infection. She is going to go to a urologist to make sure there are not any defects or anything. Probably will be fine but please pray that she is okay and it just takes a preventative antibiotic. She also has been having some problems breathing and since she had two ear infections last year and has developed more allergies, she is going to go see Jasons ear nose and throat doctor to see if she needs to have her tonsils out or just change meds. So we are going to have a very busy couple of months.

Today, I have to do menus and grocery list. Tommorow, I dont know of anything that we have planned. But Saturday, we are going to some friends in Tulsa. They are trying to sell their house and we are going to go help paint it and all that. They also have some elk heads that they have nowhere to put but they have to come down off of the wall. So we get to bring them home and put them on our wall for a while......until they get a new house built to put them in. (Very nice of them considering my kids have an elk fascination right now....lol)

Then Sunday, we are not working on the Church building but Paul has to go look at some land for work and we may go with him to look at it. We like taking long drives in the country and enjoying the scenary. And our kids are accustomed to long drives so it is actually quite enjoyable.

I am off to plan menus and coral my monsters. All this cold weather we are getting cabin fever. We love to be outside and to be cooped up like this (Not being able to just go run outside) is driving us nuts.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

This and That.

I have been so busy the last couple of days. It has been a mad house around here. Paul has been working late so the kids and I have been trying to stay occupied until Daddy gets home. When he works late for several nights in a row, he likes for the kids to stay up at least a couple of night so he can see them and play with them. That means that they get in bed later and are grouchy the next morning. But they get grouchier if they dont see Daddy for a few days. So we have been trying to just go with the flow and do whatever comes next.

I am still not feeling the greatest from my sinus infection. Just no energy. I have been doing things to have more energy..you know like eating bananas and drinking lots of water. I also found some great exercise videos that I have been doing for the past couple of days. Its from Walk At Home . I have the three mile powerwalk. I thought I could do it all because I walk all the time. HAHA. I have done about a mile and a half so far and I have been sore every night. I love it though I can already tell places that It has worked. As far as losing weight goes, I dont know. I am not weighing. I tend to get intimidated when I weigh. Or discouraged. I am just exercising because it feels good and I get to feel better when I do it. If my clothes start falling off then good that means I am achieving past my goals. I just want to have more energy for my kids and if I get to buy smaller clothes in the process then great.

Its also neat because its not so involved that the kids cant be around me. I have the DVD player set up in my room and they either sit on the bed and watch or read books or if they want to, they get up and walk too. Jason plays in his bed with some toys while we do it. Then after it is over, I go take a shower while the girls finish watching the video (it is a 3 mile video and I only walk 1 1/2) and then we leave and Jason goes down for his nap. It is really working out well.

My husband made me cry yesterday (not in a bad way). He gets really emotional sometimes when he talks about how Christ died for our sins. Well, some people that he works with had a clock in their office that had a broke face on it...nothing bad just a crack. They asked him if he wanted it for our Church because they knew we were building a new building. He told them yeah....we would take it...we just got sheetrock up last week and havent bought a clock yet. And personally were not picky...we dont mind a clock with a cracked face and here is why and also why I cried. In my husbands words..." Everyone of us in that Church have been broken or had broken dreams at one point or another. We dont judge each other because of our broken past, why should we throw out the clock because it has a broken face, it still works. Just like us, it is still working for Christ...It just got a little detoured on the way." And you know, I cried because I can relate completely. I have been broken down, I have been cracked, I have been tossed out the door. But I am still working, I am still striving for that goal. And God hasnt given up on me. He didnt cast me out the door when I was broke, He opened his arms and said Come Home my child. They also gave him a table that is a little battle scarred. It has some scratches and some dents. But it is a good strong sturdy table. Something the kids cant push over and spill everything. We are going to use it for a communion table. But it also reminds me of me. Except I am something the kids can push over....one too many whines or one too many fights and I am falling over into the devils hands and turning evil. I need to strive to stay strong like that table and be something that the kids cant push over. That can handle all their fights and all their whining and say "Come home my child" If I was more like Christ and more patient but strong, they might not fight and whine as much.

There are some Church songs that I have been singing here lately around the house.. One of them is "Did You Think To Pray" the chorus of it is"O how praying rest the weary! Pray'r will change the night to day; So when life seems dark and dreary, Dont forget to pray" I love that. And it has been reminding me to pray often.

The other really isnt a church song but we have been listening to it alot and the girls can almost sing it by heart. "I Can Only Imagine" by Emerson Drive. It is on a praise and worship cd that we have. I love to hear my little girls sing. It usually is a mixture of Jesus Loves Me and Come Home and Imagine Momma Imagine...lol. They love to sing.

I dont really have a whole lot else going on. Just trying to stay sane in all the chaos. But for now I am going to go watch "Jungle Book 2" with my monsters (sweethearts) and then I am going to walk. Paul is working today so we dont really have get up and go that we usually have on Saturdays.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

hmmmm......

First of all, Thank you to everyone who left prayers for me. I have felt very at peace with my life the past few days....maybe because I have been sick with a sinus infection and cant really think or ponder on much. I however do believe that prayer works. It works wonders! I am not as bitter and stressed as I was. I am not completly peaceful but I am better.

Paul has been giving lessons at Church on peace and turning your life over to God and it has helped me alot. I was actually able to listen to the lesson Sunday past and hear what he was saying. Amazingly (probably because I wasnt as stressed!) my kids sat and behaved. They didnt act up, or throw fits or fight over coloring books (yes, my kids have coloring books in church....religious ones. they are very active kids and I have found that they retain more of the lesson if they are doing something with their hands. ) I put one on each side of me and Jason in my lap and they colored and read their Bibles and listened to Daddy. How do I know you ask, after services, Kylie asked me if she was Still if God would give her some peace and quiet. Alaina told her no....He would give Momma peace and quiet. But yes they do listen.

I also found a blog...I cant remember the name of it but I will try to find it in a little bit..It had a devotional on it free for download, "Create in Me a Clean Heart" A 52 week devotional. I have been reading it and since it kinda goes with my husbands lessons, it works really good (He looks up the scriptures for me....lol) No seriously, It does work because I get to think and contemplate on what I am reading and combine it with his lessons and It all fits together nicely.

About the rest of my life and house. We are doing okay. Kinda off track because I have been sick, but getting things done. Today, I have not had any energy and so I did a quick clean (er...all day quick clean) and some laundry and thats about it. We have been staying in our zones and keeping it pretty much on target. I do still have little things to tie up in the girls room (which was our deep clean area for January) and my room still some dusting to do from last week. And I still need to organize the office this week. I dusted it and stuff but I need to organize it. Since we have an extra half a week in January, I think I am going to do a little deep cleaning in each room for next week. Just you know under the beds or clean out a drawer or something. Or maybe I might tackle the office really good....lol. But we have also gone through and sorted clothes and I have alot of stuff to give away (Mom if you would come get it please....) and some yardsale stuff that I need to go through and fold and price before it goes to the shop and I have thrown away about 6 Garbage Bags full of stuff. Paul and I have been married for 5 years and some of that stuff, I havent seen in 5 years and some of it I have never seen and some of it, well..... But anyway, I have a rule around here, if we haven't used it in 6 mths, it goes out the door. If it is something that we use every 6mths to a year, then it goes in a tote in the shop so that we can get it in 6 mths. It does not stay in my house cluttering it up....

Anyway, I will try to post more tommorow but for right now, my corndogs are almost ready. Paul is working late tonight and so we are having corndogs and a movie for supper. I think that I am going to watch "A Knights Tale" . I just read today that Heath Ledger had died. I know, I know, he starred in a gay "cowboy " movie. But I still think he was a great actor and his death is so sad. He was only 28 and at the prime of his career. Just sad.

Thank You for your prayers. Please keep them up, they really do help alot.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I just wanted to say a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! (late, I had a very busy day yesterday and I did call her, I just did not get it posted like I wanted too) To my MOM!

So to a very wonderful and loving mother HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

WE Love You , Crystal Paul and Kids

Not Much Time!

I had a big post planned for today but I dont really have alot of time. I have a new nephew! Hunter Paul....1-12-08 10lbs 21in. My niece Tasha is doing fine and enjoying her new son. Her and her husband Nick also have a daughter Rosie. She is almost 4.

There is also a girl at our Church that is going to have a baby anytime soon! Her and her husband have 2 kids, Alex and Allison and this one is supposed to be a boy. She had a scare a couple of weeks ago, her placenta is low and her doctor is monitoring it very closely. So please pray that she has a safe and uneventful delivery.

I am taking Jack to the bank today to get the papers on his new(used) truck. He found one that he likes and got the loan on it and everything.

I also have to get the rest of my house picked up from the weekend and get homeschool done.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Cute Stories.

I just have several things going on in my head right now and wanted to get them typed before I forgot....yes I forget things all the time ( I blame it on having three kids and a husband... :) )

As I was skimming over blogs this morning getting my daily insight into others lives. ( I really do learn alot from reading blogs. Alot of Bible stuff and alot of homeschooling stuff and alot about being a mother.) I found several that I just have to share with you...

First, My sister had a post on her blog. It was an email that I had recieved a few weeks ago and I forwarded it as usual. But the email was very touching. I thought of posting on it but just didnt find the time to. Its called "A Baby's Hug". If you get a chance, go on over there and read it.

From Julies, I went to Jills and read her post on "Ice Cream". I loved this story. My kids do stuff like this. They say we need to pray for certain people and they give stuff to others. And times I wonder if I am doing a good enough job raising them. I know now that I am, I just need to relax and let God and kind old men and grouchy old women do their job too. Loved it. Go read....youll either laugh or cry but its good medicine.

Then, I went to Tiany's. I usually read her blog every week, I dont comment very often but I love to read it. I started reading her blog last year when I was pregnant with Jason. She had just given birth to her fourth boy. I thought "Oh My God how does she do it?" She is an inspiration and a huge help on days when I am running out of steam with my two girls and one little boy....and i have a 17 year old to help now. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Tiany She has a post on her son turning 1. About how she is going to enjoy every little minute of her time with her kids. "Its Not Fair..." Its not fair how fast they grow. It really is not.

I also got a kick out of this post by http://www.deanaland.blogspot.com/. "How to Get New Clothes At Target". I would never do this but you know, the kids do tend to throw up on you in the weirdest places. And with a baby anything is possible. Maybe I can get a new outfit next time I am there after all.

Jason had an all clear ear check up yesterday. We have avoided tubes for now. He goes back in six months unless something comes up between now and then. And this spring when allergies flare up again, he will probably go on another allergy med to avoid them even further.

Kylie has to go have a test done on her bladder tommorow. They want to make sure her bladder is not refluxing and causing her urinary tract infections cause she has had like three in two months and she is always drinking water. She should not have them but she does. Part of it may be her allergy med causing her to dry out but they just want to make sure nothing else is going on. Please pray that it is painless and she is okay.

I have to take Jack to go to work with his daddy tonight, they will be working late doing a side job for some extra money to pay off bills with. I also need to get busy finishing up my house work. but right now I have a sleeping baby on my lap and really dont want to get up. I'm savoring his last few months as a baby. In only one and a half more months he will be 1. Too soon, Too soon. In only two more months, Alaina will be three. And in only one more month, my niece Claire will be three. It seems like just yesterday that I was bone tired and hurting from standing all day waiting on her to get here and now she is almost 3. But I will save the details for another post I have been wanting to write for a while and maybe now is the time. We will see if it is over the next few days.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

A mis mash of thoughts going around in my head....late at night.

Here I am, It is 10:00 at night and I am almost wide awake and typing on this thing. I have been up since 6:30 this morning. I was going to go running but it looked like it was going to storm and Jason has been sleeping none too good here lately. He has been congested and coughing until he gags and of course that scares me and you know you just cant get back to sleep after having your heart jump into your throat like that. So the nightly routine that we had going is not working so well. He was actually breathing better today and not coughing as much but he still acted sick (and he didnt get to crawl around much either....maybe it is the carpet that is making him act that way...hmmmmm maybe the carpet is going to go out the door.. grins). He has an appointment with his ENT specialist wednesday so maybe we will find out something.


Our first day back to school since before Jack moved in was today. It went okay. The girls have forgotten some stuff and learned some other so I guess we are about even. Alaina started handwriting worksheets and Kylie started her Phonics (Teach Your Child To Read In 100 Easy Lessons). We did two lessons and she wanted to do more but she is doing great. We have recieved some objections (very loud opiniated objections....very hurtful uncalled for objections) to our homeschooling. Especially of Jack. It is believed that he could do better in a public school...he chooses to homeschool and we choose to homeschool him. We dont have his books yet because we havent had the money to get them. We are however checking out books from the library and he is reading those and then I ask him about them and he gives me a report (see....literature and speech in one book) he has been doing stuff that I print off of the internet and we are looking at alot of sites that we find that has useful information on them and he is enjoying it. We will be going through the summer so that he can catch up on some stuff that he was behind on in public school and hopefully, he will either graduate at the same time or ahead of his public school class. He is aiming for ahead of but we will see. He wants to do good and agrees that doing a good job is more important than graduating early. He is wanting to get a job to help out around here and we told him to wait and get settled in with schoolwork first and then worry aobut a job.

I have been dealing with a lot here lately on an emotional and spiritual level. I think that I have finally (okay...almost) come down off of my post partum depression. Yes almost a year after Jason was born, I am starting to feel halfway normal again. No I did not go to the doctor with it because it cost money and we dont have it. No I did not bother my husband with the specifics,I just got grouchy and irritable and ignored him and pushed him away. I also did not deal very well with the kids. I have yelled alot more than I ever though I would, I have hid in my bathroom and bawled and I have just loaded them in the truck and went to the park. Anything to get out of the house or away from what I thought was causing me to be grouchy with them (or at them). There have been times that I have felt like I couldnt take it anymore, there have been times that I have wanted to throw up my hands and scream I quit and run out the door. There have been times that I have told Paul that I was going to town and I would be back in a little while (course I never made it bymyself because something always happens....) NO I AM NOT PERFECT!!! NO I AM NOT NORMAL!!! I come from a line of depressed people. I come from a depressed mother and a bipolar father....added with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder...from the Vietnam War). Although my mother and father are alot better now days than they used to be, they still have depression. Edited: They are great parents as my sister points out. They are very wonderful parents. Always have been.

I have always been able to fight my depression. Growing up, I played basketball and ran and lived on a farm that had so many chores to do you didnt have time to think about being depressed. I lived there on and off until I was 21 and married Paul. Then I moved 4 hours away from my family to a place that was okay. It didnt have as many trees to go run and play in and it didnt have my family but hey, i was grown up right i didnt need to go run and play....so my depression started to slowly build...but still i fought. I fought so hard that we moved back to where my parents live and went in debt over our heads trying not to starve to death working in the family business. Depression built more......I fought more.. But I also started to rely on God (just a little bit......) and let my husband start making decisions...(see up until this point, i just thought I let him make them) So we moved back to 3 and 1/2 hours away and settled in....for the long haul.

Now we have to dig ouselves out of our monster debt, on one income. We have to put up with a crappy job because we cant afford to live on less and nobody pays as much as this job. We have to stay in the house that we are in because we cant afford anything else and it was a great steal ( its not that bad....a few too many neighbors and no trees...none.. and its not in Colorado...lol) But we are alot closer. Paul now listens to me and he tries to help. I am now....well, I am trying. Paul made the comparison of us one day of a mechanic and a carpenter. He is a carpenter, he builds things. He doesnt fix them because when he builds them they last, they dont fall apart. I was raised with my dad being a mechanic,,,,my uncles were, are, mechanics. They fixed things. I therefore want and am good at fixing things. I however cant fix myself without help and that is where my husband comes in. He is helping me to start over and build a new self worth. I now feel like I can do something about my depression.

I found a blog the other day and I can remember which one it is so sorry if I misquote. She was talking about dealing with grief after the loss of her infant daughter. She said something to the effect of it was like cleaning house and putting everything in your house out on the front lawn for everybody to see and taking one thing at a time and if you wanted it then put it back in, but if you dont, you kick it out to the curb and if you are not sure, you leave it on the lawn a little longer. That is what I have done, I have taken everything in me and kicked it out and am examining one piece at a time. I have let some things back in and some things have gotten kicked out. Some things I dont even want to deal with right now. I dont think I am strong enough to. I feel raw and weak and exposed and to tell the truth, sometimes I feel like I am still drowning. But I have support now. I have my husband who is trying his best to understand and support me and work two sometimes three jobs and come home to play with his now 4 babies.

I am so glad to have him and HIM. There is another little story to tell. Back in September, I really started to lose it. I really started to think that I wasnt cut out for all this mommy stuff. I mean, I am a selfish person just like everyone else. I was reading blogs and the women that I was reading about was getting to go on dates with their husbands and they have family to babysit and blah blah blah....so part of my fall was feeling sorry for myself. But I let it get to me. I dont have babysitters...the few family members that would babysit, well my inlaws are not in the greates shape health wise (allergies around here make them feel terrible.) so they dont feel like watching all three (especially my three) at once...(dont get me wrong, they take one or two at a time just not all three....it is a great help. I realize that now and am very grateful) the others, well it has to be on their terms and they wont watch all three either. So anyway, september to october and on into november, i was going absolutely insane...I even let it keep me from going hunting. I love to hunt but I was so bitter and upset and angry...just flat out angry that I didnt go hunting with my hubby. I left my girls with my parents in November for a week and that helped. But I was still begging God to help me. Well, miracles do happen. It just so happened that about a week after I got the girls back home, my stepson (my son) needed a place to live. My first thought was yeah he can live here, we would love to have him. Then I thought....no, i dont need anything else. Then I prayed for God to forgive me for thinking that. And I prayed for guidence on this topic. Well, Jack moved in and the first couple of weeks were rocky. But now, It feels like he has lived here forever and we are all in a routine and everything is going great. We still have rough spots, we are still trying to get used to different roles. Like for instance now instead of being the step mom that sees him whenever he comes over, I am the mom that has to tell him what to do and what not to do and to help him with his problems. Now instead of being the visiting big bubba, he is the big bubba that is here to play and have fun but also to get onto them when they dont mind or something...and he dont put up with them talking back to me...he cant stand that. Not that they do it that often but he just cannot stand it.

We are okay. I will be okay. I have started the healing process. Healing of what you may ask. The healing of years of hurt that I had buried and let fester. I stayed at my parents for a week after Christmas. During that week, (with mom helping with the kids and not having to cook unless we wanted to and not having to do laundry by myself and on and on.....you know havin help) I got to think about some things and actually work tings out in my mind. I done alot of forgiving and alot of forgetting and some remembering. Some of the things that I remembered arent pleasent and arent likely to be forgotten any time soon. But they are forgiven and I have talked to Paul about them (nothing he did by the way) and we have started the healing process of them.

Part of our deal with Jack when he moved in was that we read the Bible every night as a family. WE have not done this every night, we get busy just like everyone else and it is not habit yet. But we try. It has helped.

Along with my spiritual and physical cleaning, I have been doing alot of house cleaning. I have my zones back up and we are working on them. We cleaned the whole house (minus the office and kitchen ) from top to bottom last week. We are now on week two of our cleaning schedule and it is going okay. I have menus made up and am following them. I have school schedules for this week. They may change next week, we will see what the girls do....afterall, it is preschool.. we cant get too serious.

I have been looking at ways to make extra money. I am thinking about going back to school to get my nursing degree ( I always wanted this) but my priorities come first. I have a husband and a house and kids to take care of. It would be different if I already had my degree and could just go back to work but since I dont and nursing requires long clinical hours, I cant do this. I wont leave my kids in daycare while I go to school. If I could just go to work, I could work nights or weekends so they could be with Daddy while I worked. So I have started trying to find other ways to make money at home....any suggestions (if you are still reading this) would be helpful. I have tried some of the paid survey things. All they did was fill my inbox with junk mail. I have tried the google adsense.....nada.

I appreciate all of you who have stuck with me through this and who have left comments encouraging me along. I am still thinking of starting another (new)blog but for right now I think I will stay here. Except I am now the praying mom of 4 not 3. I wouldnt have it any other way. I would have more but my husband says he is old. God has a sense of humor though so you never know but for our finacial and my sanity sake, please pray that he doesnt find it funny to bless us with another one.

Well, It is now after midnight and I need to get up at 5:30 to get bread baking and breakfast started and do my bible reading and maybe go running before the kids wake up. Doubt that I will go running. I really need a treadmill or something.. I am working on that one though.

Just please keep the prayers and comments coming as they are really encouraging and for those of you who read this and dont comment but email thank you. you are a big help too.

and incase you cant tell, i am getting tired. I am startint to misspell and not capitalize and punctuate correctly...not like me at all.

For tonight, my novel is ended. I will post again soon.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

This and That

I know I am not supposed to be posting.....(grins) I have a few things to update though. First. If I dont make it back on here before Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

Second. I am thinking of starting a new blog. I dont know yet what it will be named. Iam throwing some names around and working on it. I just feel like I am starting a new place in my life right now. It is hard to explain but I am sure most of you have been through this. I feel like God is working on me and in me and I dont know yet what he wants or what he is going to accomplish but I am being patient. I do know that I want to start a new blog. One that is better fitting for my life and the direction that my life is going. I want it to be more of a help to people.

Third. THank you to my sister julie http://www.accordingtohispower.blogspot.com for posting updates and stuff for me. It has helped tremendously.

Kylie is okay for those of you that wondered. She does have an innocent heart murmur. She will probably grow out of it but if not they dont think it will hurt anything.

Jason is doing good. No ear infections of late.

Alaina is doing okay too I guess. Her tonsils are still huge and she still says she hurts all the time.

Jack is settled in good. I have been giving him some placement test to figure out where he is at is school and he is really behind in alot of stuff. He moved around so much as a child and the school that he settled in just pushed him through to get him caught up with his age level that he is so behind. That is one more reason that I dont like school systems now days. My sister in law is a Language arts teacher for Middle School. She was telling me the other day what all she has to accomplish in 45minutes a day for 5 days a week. There is no way....none. I couldnt do all of that work. I would be one of those put in the special ed class and I am good at English and literature....not that you can tell it from y punctuation on here. ( I get in a hurry and dont pay attention) But we are determined that we are going to do the best we can with him and try to catch him up on stuff.

Anyway, If i start a new blog then I will be sure and post it on here too. Thank You all for your support and your comments.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

This and That

Okay Okay so I know I didnt get everything done yesterday that I was supposed to. It ws a bad day with Jason.

I did however get my oven cleaned (my darling husband spilled some pizza in there...ewwww), My kitchen is almost deep cleaned. I got my bedroom and bathroom cleaned, finished organizing homeschool stuff and did some laundry.

I was going to sew my curtains for my living room but for some strange reason (called Alaina) I cant find my material. It was right by the serger so I could sew them anytime I had time to sit down that long. But things like to disapear when she is around so. Now I am on the great hunt for my material.

I also did not get bread or cookies made (I couldnt cook with my oven smelling like that..) I did get to read a whole book while holding my precious baby during his nap. I did my bible reading and then read a novel. So I guess you could say I had some me time.

Today I have to go to Wal Mart (this morning) then I am going to finish the laundry and finish packing for our weekend trip. (Hopefully, Jason please feel better so I can at least get done what I have to)

Please keep praying for Jason and pray that we have a safe trip this weekend. Jack (our other son.......he is my stepson but in my heart, he is mine) and our niece will be going with us. Jack is needing some daddy time (and driving experience ) and our niece i think just wants to go with us and get away for a couple of days. she is 12 and going through the "Oh my gosh I am growing up " crisis. You know what it is like when you hit that age. You like boys but you would swear you didnt and you get upset if they dont like you but you tell everyone that you hate them.....Yeah. Fun age. Pray for her too please. (I Love You Miranda. I understand completely what you are going through)

Anyway, I will be back Monday. I will try to post some pictures of this weekend when I get film developed...(Yeah my digital is still broke....I hate to spend the gas money to drive to where the camera shop is to fix it. ) But I am probably going to go up there next week anyway so I will try to get it fixed.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

My Day

I guess you could say my day went okay. I have a migraine (its getting better slowly) and yes I know that a lot of people cant stand computers or lights or sound or anything like that when they have a migraine. I toloerate it. I do like the quiet and the dark alot but when you have kids, you just can't do that. So I have learned to tolerate the noise and the lights until Paul gets home to help. The girls are usually really good and helpful. Jason however being as he doesnt feel good today has been screaming all day...unless I am holding him. And computer lights, are sometimes actually soothing as long as I dont look for too long.

I did manage to get my living room rearranged today. I was getting so tired of the way it was and was looking for a more organized way to arrange it. I think I accomplised it. We will see in a few days if it works or not. I need to sew my curtains tommorow. If I can find the material. I think my daughters put it up somewhere for me. :)

I also got my homeschooling stuff gone through and got rid of a bunch of clutter in that area. Right now, I have a bunch of papers and catalogs and stuff scattered across my floor awaiting the trash can.

I also go the girls room halfway cleaned and by that I mean that I got all their clothes hung up. Yeah it gets messy. Kylie likes to change about 5 or 6 times a day and she never puts stuff up. Then with Alaina learning from her, there is way too many clothes to play in. :)

Tommorow, I will finish going through my homeschool stuff and organizing it. Sew my curtains for my living room. Finish the laundry. Go to town and buy some mini blinds for my living room and the girls room. ( I needed to do this last year.) I might try to make some bread tommorow and some cookies. But it depends on how Jason is. Today, I did all of that with him either on my hip or hanging on to my leg. And he just now went to sleep.

Please pray that he gets better and that we have a good day tommorow. I dont like it when my kids are sick. I cant stand to do anything but hold them. Which is why I had him on my hip most of the day.

I talked to Mom last night and she said that the girls are having fun. They are getting to ride horses and play with their cousins. They do have some stuffy noses but that is to be expected with my kids when they change environments. It always happens. Allergies are not fun..... Lord can I please move to Colorado in a few years so my kids wont be sick all the time.... ( I hope and pray that they are like their daddy and if we ever do get to move out there that they are almost allergy free. He lived out there for almost two years and he felt great out there.)

Anyway I guess this is all for today. Not much going on around here like I planned. With Jason being sick I am not getting as much done as I had hoped but I would rather hold him when he feels bad.

Love and Prayers

Happenings.....

I know it has been a few days since I posted and I was going to post yesterday but it was one of those days.

We went on our trip to where my family lives. Had a nice visit and the girls got to stay there.....Yes my babies are four hours away from me with my mom. It is nice. I needed a break and so did they. I will enjoy them when they get back but for now, I am liking it.

We did go on our hunt but neither one of us got anything. It was just a bad weekend. Too warm for much to happen.

Jason's allergies flared up and now he has really bad ear infections in both ears. So he is taking antibiotics again and steroids and is not in a good mood at all. So even though I dont have my girls, I am still not getting a lot done because I am holding him alot... If he is not better in two weeks, he goes back to his ear specialist.

Paul closed on his first Real Estate Sale yesterday. For those of you who dont know what that means, It means that the papers and everything are signed sealed and delivered. The new owners now have the right to move in. Pretty Cool huh...

I have had lots of stuff planned for this week but we will see how it goes. Today, I have to run some errands, and tommorow, I am going with Paul and his friend to look over their new land. (Potential hunting land) Thursday, I will probably be cleaning house and getting some organizing done and then Friday, I will finish up packing for our weekend trip the the Gospel Meeting that my (old) Home Church is having.

Speaking of Churches, Our little building that we have been building for our Church is coming along nicely. We have the plenum in for the heat and air, and as soon as we get the money for it, we are going to run ductwork and insulate and sheetrock....What fun. Us women of course cant wait until the paint is done and the carpet and other flooring in so we can decorate....lol.

I am hoping to post a list later this week of what I have gotten done and What I need to do. We will see how today goes. Hopefully with his antibiotics, Jason will be feeling better soon. If not, I will continue to enjoy holding my wonderful blessing.

I also seen baby Micah this weekend. He is doing good. He's so adorable.

I need to go get laundry swapped out....It is unreal how much less Ihave to do without the girls here. They love to go through a lot of clothes. But what else are girls supposed to do...

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Weekly Happenings and Menu

I am hoping to get back to posting this week on a daily basis. I hope to do more of the stuff that I have been wanting to participate in like Thankful Thursdays and stuff. But that will require me to get a good nights sleep so I can get up earlier in the morning because I will only be posting first thing in the morning unless something just happens that I cant resist posting about throughout the days.

I have to take Kylie for her four year checkup and Jason for his six month checkup Monday. The rest of the week, I am going to try and stay home and keep our schedule going.. They have been doing okay except for at night since Paul has been working late, they have been staying up waiting on daddy to get home so they havent been getting much sleep.

We have been working on the inside of our new church building the past two sundays...they now have the floor down and are going to start wiring and plumbing it next week. The next few sundays until we get it done will be spent there so we will be having sandwiches most sundays.

My menu planning usually runs two weeks because we get paid every two weeks. I am going to try to stick to it as much as I can but some days may get switched around due to whatever happens in out house. The list is backwards though.. the sunday that is at the top of my list is actually the sunday after next (in two weeks) I didnt feel like switching it back around tonight I am tired after today and I didnt even do that much, I mostly sat around and held Jason and watched kids play while the men worked.

I am hoping to also put up some notes on some books that I have been reading and some the Bible Reading tract that I am following. I may or may not get that done though.

I need to go get some laundry started and get my dishes in the dishwasher and get baths before bedtime so....I will try to post something in the morning.

Love and Prayers
Crystal

Pouring Rain ?

Have you ever had that feeling when it rains it pours....not blessings this week.

I was going to start blogging again regularly next week and was doing real good until yesterday. See, Paul had what we thought was a sinus infection because he gets those regularly, but turns out it was a cold or a virus or something because yesterday, I was cleaning and organizing right on schedule and WHAM!!! All of a sudden I didnt have any energy, I had a little fever, my head hurt, and I could not keep my eyes open...all of his symptoms..so I immediately took some medicine, put the girls on the couch watching a movie, and laid down to rest (Jason was safely in his playpen playing).

Today, I am feeling a little better, still not alot of energy but okay. Had to go pay bills and get groceries anyway (we were literaly out of food) and order Angel Food. Got home tired, ready to fix lunch and sit down and relax only to find that our fridge is going out and we are going to have to get a new one....so now I am hoping that it doesnt go completely out before hubby gets home and we can go get a new one tonight ( I love Home Depot for staying open later).

But because hubby is coming home early to go get a fridge, means he has to work tommorow to get stuff done that has a deadline.

He has been working late for two weeks straight and I mean until 9 or 10 at night....he leaves at 6 in the morning.

But anyway, what I am thankful for...I missed Thankful Thursday but will try to do it next week.

I am thankful that I have a house, two cars (so hubby can go to work and I can do my errands without and exausted husband), my kids (they always do something to make momma want to scream at the same time I just want to sit down and laugh.) my husband (he works so hard to provide us a living and to pay off debt that we have aquired (mostly my fault) my health.. (needs to get better) my family (pauls family is my family too.) God (he gave up his son so that I could have a chance of life eternal with him) Jesus (he gave his life for me and you) America (i have to freedom to worship, choose, and live ) my puppy elmer....our beagle...he is so cute and has some of the cutest expressions...i could just hold him and play all day. My sister Julie, she has been lifting me up alot here lately and I really need that.. Our Church family....they are great...so understanding and there for us....our new Church building. Friends (not many, but I have a few) My crockpot, it is cooking supper right now (chicken and dumplings) I am thankful that my stove, dishwasher (on its last leg though) and freezer still work and my wahser and dryer. I am thankful that I have one more day to be my little kids mom and my husbands wife and the best christian i can be...

Love and Prayers
Crystal
I will try to get back to regular post next week...